Possum's Back And I have An Agenda !

My apologies to all my pals for not posting lately, but there have been a few changes around here that have made it difficult for me to post. You-know-who has acquired a new toy, namely a program for performing, recording and producing his favorite songs for a new CD. At first, I thought it was a good idea because I like to hear what's his name sing, but things quickly changed.

The funny thing was watching him downloading programs and trying to install them. You know he never reads the instructions. He just starts working on the program and then it doesn't work. At that point, I alway head for my secret hiding spot 'cause he says bad words and yells at no one in particular. Sooner or later, he goes back and reads the instructions and...voila! It works! ....and he calls me Shithead! Au contraire mon ami....

Anyway, there he sits just singing his ass off and I know he's gonna make a mistake 'cause he doesn't even have the lyrics in front of him. Sure enough, he makes a mistake and starts that infantile yelling. I told him to print the lyrics, but nooooo....he's knows the words. Right !

Then, the other day, he's recording a song that I like, so I add a little meow background vocal to his song. Boy! You'd think I just peed on the carpet. He rants and raves and then he erases everything and starts over. Then he turns to me and says I ruined the song. Hey, I sang in tune...it's that he doesn't really appreciate my Kool Kat styling.

He seems to have it working well now and I'm glad. He's such a perfectionist (that's how humans describe obsessive-compulsive) that it gets pretty stormy intil he finally gets it. The good thing about him is that he gets guilty feelings after he calms down and then I get treats 'n stuff.

The other reason I haven't posted is I spotted a lady friend sitting on the neighbors back yard and I've developed an interest in her. She keeps looking at me (I am quite the looker, you know), but I don't know if she's allowed to come over. I tell you one thing though, if she meows at my front door, he'd better let her in. I don't say anything when his lady friends come over and sit in my spot on the sofa. A contrario, I even rub against them and let them pet me.

I always read your comments on Jimmy's Journal and I'm really happy that all my lady friends and pals have been asking about me. I'll be trying to post more often but remember, no matter what, you guys are the best!

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell right on his nose. The bunny said. "Oh, please excuse me! I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."

The snake said, "That's perfectly all right. To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" The bunny said, "Well, I really don't know. I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"

The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?" The snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him. When he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"

The bunny replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later, no centipede. 20 minutes later, no centipede. 30 minutes later, no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Where is that centipede?

So he goes to the front door, opens it. There's the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, "Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 30 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!" The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"

That's Possum's Journal for now my little catnips. More soon!

Stray Tuned !

Lions And Tigers (No Bears) Oh My !

OK, so it's not a very ferocious look but we felines can be quite fierce when we need to. The bigger felines get all the notoriety 'cause they're "endangered" and the media gets all gushy and fall all over themselves whenever they see any large cat. It kinda reminds me of CNN whenever Obama's around.

Since big cats were on my mind, I thought I'd show you some pictures of some of them. Keep in mind that we smaller felines are just as cute and just as endangered. For example, yesterday I was in the kitchen eating my food and Jimmy comes bopping into the kitchen and steps on my tail. I'll bet he wouldn't step on a tiger's tail (although he has had a few tigers by the tail in the past but escaped uninjured).

These pictures were taken from National Geographic Magazine and they have many large pictures to choose from, including wallpaper which you can download. There's not too many pictures of cats that are my size and I think that's discrimination. Where the hell is "Podium" Al Sharpton when you need him?

I particularly like the picture of the female lynx and her kitten. The content but wary eyes of the mother reflect a basic instinct of all mothers. The kitten, oblivious to the world around him, seems to know that safety is as close as the scent of his mother. Of course. the other reason I like the picture of the lynx is that I can use this paragraph to give you the links to the lynx and other big cats at the National Geographic web site (I'm just so damned clever!).....................
http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/index.html

Lions have always fascinated me and I like to think that I have the heart of a lion with a slightly smaller body. The lion has always been the symbol of courage (with the exception of the cowardly lion, who has since found himself) and I admire lions very much. I think everyone feels that they have an inner lion within.

All things considered, my personal opinion is that we house cats are just as important as all these bigger cats. I will admit however, that the large cats I've pictured in today's entry are magnificent animals as well. Their only problem is that they're just not as refined.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

A gorilla escaped from the zoo and after 3 weeks, the zoo keepers give up looking for him. Some time later, a man calls the zoo complaining of a gorilla in a tree in his back yard. The zoo keeper rushes right over. When he arrives, he has a net, a baseball bat, a shotgun, and a Rottweiler.

The man asks what the zoo keeper what the items are for. The zoo keeper says, "I'm gonna climb the tree and hit the gorilla in the head with the baseball bat. When he falls out of the tree, you throw the net over him, and the Rottweiler will go straight for his balls." The man asks, "But what's the shotgun for?" The zoo keeper answers, "If I miss the gorilla and fall out of the tree, you shoot the Rottweiler."

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When a woman asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him. He said, "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. I place my hand on my release ring and out I go"

The woman said, "But how do you know when you are going to land?" The blind man said, "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground." The woman asked, "But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" The blind man answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack".

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !

A Doggie Doo Lesson

I get along with dogs pretty well and I have a lot of doggie pals, but I do have a beef about some of their personal habits. As you know, we cats are very careful to make sure that we bury and cover our business immediately after the negotiations are concluded.

Dogs, on the other hand, just sniff around until they find a spot they like and boom!....there it is! It doesn't matter if it's a tree, a fire hydrant or a small child. They just lift their leg and fire away.

And, you can forget about number two! I think they look around for the most traveled area they can find, squat and leave a gift for some unsuspecting human to step in it. You might say that's just their nature and forget about it. I say, If dogs can bury and cover their bones, then they should bury and cover their business as well.

My pal, Linda in Washington, sent me the featured picture of this nice doggie, who after graduating summa cum laude from doggie obedience school, displays the proper way to clean up after himself.

I saw a documentary on white deer and they looked kinda neat so I'm sprinkling a few pictures of them throughout today's post. Do not confuse the featured picture of the white canine with the white deer.

Cats are normally graceful creatures, but occasionally they do make slight errors in judgement and when they do, it's usually comical. This is a video that I found hidden in my archives and I thought I show it to you.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

A thief broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. The thief said, "Did you say that?" The parrot said, "Yep, I'm just trying to warn you."

The thief relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" The parrot replied, "Moses." The burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird 'Moses'?" The parrot said, "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy didn't know what he'd killed so he ran to the farmhouse and described his kill to the farmer.

"It had two saggy tits, a beard and a hard head," said the boy. The farmer. "Oh crap, You've shot my wife!"

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sips it and sets it down. A monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the beer. The man asks the bartender who owns the monkey. The bartender replies, "The piano player".

The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer?" The pianist replies, "No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll try play it."

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms. Have a great weekend and I'll have more next week.

Stray Tuned !

If You Think The Swine Flu Was Mysterious, Wait "Til You See My Discovery !

I'm kinda happy they changed the name of the swine flu to H1N1. I'm not that friendly with oinkers, but I thought they were getting a bad rap. The main reason I'm happy is that when this diseases started appearing in Mexico, every Juan and his Tio start massacring the chubby little guys and that makes me nervous.

When the Avian Flu was rampant, every Mao in tao-n started killing chickens and ducks. Hell, they even banned the serving of cheese and quackers. Chinese restaurants refused to serve cream of asparakeet soup. It got to a point that every birdbrain in government was in a fowl mood.

What if some nitwit happened to catch a cold because that certain someone stayed out parting all night long? And what if that certain woke up the next morning and decided that he had the Cat Flu? Can you see where I'm headed?

Although I'm glad they changed the name, now I'm wondering if R2D2 can contract H1N1.....

So, If the Swine Flu, I mean H1N1 doesn't float your boat, here's another mysterious item happening in our southestern border towns:

Calexico,California: (April 30) - The hottest thing on the griddle at the Las Palmas restaurant these days isn't the food — it's the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that a cook says she saw on the griddle. Restaurant manager Brenda Martinez says more than 100 people have flocked to the small town of Calexico on the California-Mexico border to gaze at the likeness of the Virgin Mary since it was discovered as the griddle was being cleaned.

At first I though it was a hoax, but after thinking about it, I must confe$$ it surely must be true! Lo and behold, when I went into the kitchen to snack on my Meow Mix, I saw an image of Our Lady of Bank of America in my cat food, fell to my knees...um, front paws and rejoiced.

As a result, I've decided to share this miracle and you can have a piece of my Miracle Meow Mix for the paltry sum of $1.00 per piece. Send your dollar along with a small shipping and handling charge of $23.00 and you too can witness this miracle. But wait, order now in your comments and I'll double your order for the same price. Mail your order now and you can thank me later (sorry, no CODs).

Pets Of The Week: My pal Martha has a some real cute kittens named Nuggett (left) and Queen Bella (above). Looking at their pictures, my first impressions are that Nugget is a real pistol and the appropriately named Queen Bella is going to be the proverbial Belle of the ball.

Martha also has a kitten named Pinky Chewbacca Extra Long Psycho Cat. I'm not real sure how long someone has to sit up at night to come up with a monicker like this, but thankfully, its nickname is Choochie. I've learned that it matters not what your real name is, pet owners always come up with a nickname.

Anyway, Choochie's the white little guy on the right who has discovered that someone in Martha's house drinks Budweiser and the cardboard box makes a great place to hang out.

You should definitely stop by and vist Martha at her journal aptly named Menagerie. She always has delightful pictures of all kinds of things and I'm sure you'll enjoy you visit. If you like photography as I do, you can read Menagerie by clicking this link. http://meandering-martha.blogspot.com/

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have sex." After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge for his humiliation. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time, a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, Frank. That was my nephew and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate.

Although he survived, it did take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replied, "Well son, when we trek across the desert, our toes will help us stay on top of the soft sand."

Two minutes later the young camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these long eyelashes?" The mother said, "They are there to keep the sand out of our eyes on the trips through the desert."

After a while, the baby camels asked, "Mom, why have we got these great big humps on our back?" His Mom answered, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert so we can go without drinking for long periods of time."

The baby camel thought a bit and said, "So we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes, and these humps to store water." The mother camel said, "Yes dear."

The baby camel said, "So why are we living in the San Diego Zoo?"

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !

Sometimes Newborn Animals Just Get Lucky !

The animal world is not always predictable and sometimes strangers make good bedfellows. Such is the case of today's new arrivals who found themselves in need of a helping hand from another species.

Take, for example, the case of Finnegan the squirrel, who fell from his nest and was adopted. Now Finnegan does not yet know that he isn't a dog, but I'm sure that, in time, his adopted mom will let him know. In the interim, Finnegan will enjoys his newfound family.

Most adoptive animals are receptive to other types of animals, especially nursing mothers. You can usually slip a newborn animal in with a different type of species and the mother will nurse it. This is very fortunate for the little family of newborn skunks who were introduced to a receptive nursing cat, who took over the duties of motherhood. It is also fortunate for the little skunks that their scent glands don't develop until later.

Patience is a true virtue among animals and in the case of the white kitten who sought out a friendship with a large dog, patience is an understatement. Anyone who has ever had a kitten is aware of the havoc that they can create and the trouble they can get into. From the look on the face of the dog, it's obvious that the kitten has exceeded his bounds but the dog just takes it with a grain of salt.

Of course, dogs can nurture larger animals as is the case of the female dog who was very protective to a fawn who had lost it's mother. It's interesting to see that the dog is very aware of the photographer, yet the fawn sleeps without a care.

Then, there's the case of the fawn who was slipped into a litter of puppies and judging by the body language, the fawn does not yet know it is not a dog. Nature seems to have a way of giving a helping hand to newborn animals along with the very caring people who add their own particular touch as well.

It always makes me feel good to see that in some cases of lost or abandoned newborn animals, they can sometimes get that lucky break and live a happy life.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." The young man said, "But I'm a college graduate." The manager said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that. Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."

An unemployed guy goes door-to-door looking for work. One home-owner hands him a brush and a tin of paint and offers him $50 to paint his porch. A few hours later the guy goes to the home-owner and says, "I've finished!! but I reckon you should know your car's a Ferrari not a Porsche!"

Then, again, not every species is always lucky enough to find a nice adoptive family. Some families just enjoy dining out and do not want the responsiblilty of raising a family.

A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheelin' and dealin' they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the shop in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" The duck's former owner though and said, "Hmmm....Did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !

They Shudda Considered A Cat !

You'd think that Barack Obama would be wise enough to get a cuddly kitten for the children, but noooooo..., he's gotta get some high-falutin' dog instead. I mean, really, the mutt's already gone through three or four families as it is. To make matters worse, the stupid media is falling all over itself with its non-stop coverage of "Bo this" and "Bo that." Granted, the pup's rather handsome as dogs go but sheesh.....! I can't wait until ol' Bo takes a healthy dump on the White House carpet. Then, we'll see how cool he is.

We cats, on the other hand, are careful to do our dooty privately and we take the time to cover it up after we're done. Have you ever seen a dog take a dump? I mean they just stop wherever the hell they are and let 'er rip. And taking a pee? They'll pee on anything, anywhere. Hell, they'll even pee on your leg.

You may say that I'm just jealous but I am not. It just bugs me that cats didn't get an equal opportunity to compete for the position. I even made a phone call to Al Sharpton and he told me it was because I'm partially black and that's racism.

One thing for sure though, they better check out Bo's background. Obama has already had a few nominees who had to withdraw their names because of background problems, especially taxes. I think they need to check Bo for drugs as well.

They will probably give Bo his own little White House to live in and I can guarantee you that it will turn it into a slum in a matter of months. Dogs are not well known for their grooming and housekeeping abilities. A cat, on the other hand, would maintain the residence clean and in good repair.

The bottom line is I can't wait to see the president walking or running with Bo and watch ol' Bo end up taking a pee or trying to hump one of the secret service agent's leg.

TheCat's Meow and Puppy Dog Tales:

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that when pregnant, they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud.

The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

The morning after, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, banged each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs, and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The following morning, he is woken up by his wife shaking him and saying, "Wake up Dear, the pigs are acting strangely!". The farmer says, "What do you mean? Are they wallowing in the mud?" His wife says, "No, they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

Just to show you things are not always what they may seem to be, I thought I'd show you Mount Rushmore National Monument, located near Keystone, North Dakota. It's a spectacular and moving granite sculpture by Gutzon Borglum which began on 1927 and ended in 1941. Besides the amount of work involved, including sculpting, blasting and labor, there are a few things that the average American cannot see. Here's what's really going on behind the scenes.

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !

There's Some Pet Shows That Are Just Flat Out Wrong !

Ok, I understand that some people overly dote on their pets and frankly, I like that idea. There comes a point in time, however, when some pet owners need to have their own family trees and breeding checked, as well. Take the case of these poodle owners who have taken dog competition to a whole new level.

These people definitely have too much time on their hands and should be taken back to the asylum that they escaped from. The poodles themselves have to be embarrassed as well. I mean, how can you hang out with your pals after the show looking like this? I guarantee you that you wont find any cats that will put up with this lunacy.

Pet Of The Week: Patches, who belongs to Helen's daughter, Mira, is home once again, safe and sound. It turns out Patches wandered away from her home and when Helen came to feed her, she was missing in action. Helen went looking for her and then her husband Ken had to go looking for Helen in the car. Once Ken found Helen, they located Patches in someone's yard with two other pooches. Patches was ecstatic to see Helen and Ken and is now home. Judging from her picture, I'd say it's business as usual.

There's been a lot of stories about people and animals in the news and many of my pals have sent me stories and pictures to share with you. Here are just a few of the ditties that I received from my pals and readers this week.

My pal, Linda sent me this picture of a cat who apparently is not overjoyed about being outside in the snow. From the look on it's face, I'm assuming the cat's thinking, "Uh...excuse me...You'd think at least one of my owners wouldn't be so senile as to forget I'm outside! Hey ! Murray ! Open the damned door... Murray? Marge?........"

Then, there's the case of a sign on a road that really shouldn't be there. It's designed to protect hikers and bikers from traffic but judging from the alternative, I think I'd just stay on the road and take my chances with the traffic. But that's just me.

I know this spot well. It's taken from a place called Shark Valley, a preserve located in the Florida Everglades off of Tamiami Trail. There's an observation tower there to see the flora and fauna of the Everglades, but as you can see, the tower really isn't necessary to see a few 'gators up close and personal.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

A man rear-ended a car in morning traffic. The two cars pulled over to the side of the road and slowly, both drivers got out. The driver of the rear-ended car was a dwarf and he stormed over to the driver of the car who hit him, looked up and yelled, "I Am Not Happy!" The driver of the second car looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian? Look, he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."

Just then the Indian looks up and says. "Covered wagon, about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." The cowboy to his friend, "This is incredible! He knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. That's amazing!"

The cowboy says to the Indian, "Tell me, how are you able to know so much about the covered wagon and it's occupants. The Indian looks up and says, "Wagon ran over me about a half hour ago."

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a Happy Ester and a great weekend. More next week.

Stray Tuned !

Memories Of My First Trip To The Vet And Why I Almost Became An Alcoholic

I remember my first trip to the cat doctor like it was yesterday and I still get the shakes when I think about it. My memories of being a kitten are somewhat vague, but suffice to say I remember those days of innocence...running, playing, hiding from Jimmy...good times!

One day, I was about to have the house to myself as Jimmy was going to work. I look over and saw this neat little box sitting by the front door. So, I went inside it and started playing, but that got old after five minutes. Then, I got up on the sofa for a catnap as Jimmy came over to give me my morning pat on the head.

All of a sudden he picks me up, puts me in the little house and closes the door. I'm thinking, "Hey, what's going on here?" The next thing I know, the little house goes outside with me in it and they put me in a car. I thought, "Now what?" I wondered where we were going? Maybe we were going to that place that they take that stupid mutt next door for something called 'stud purposes.' " That flea bag always comes back all happy with a stupid grin on his face.

Well, we go to another place and they take me and the little house inside. There's all kinds of people and critters in a little room, most of them ugly dogs. So there I sit, bored in the little house and a person in a white coat comes out. Jimmy picks me up and we go to another room.

In comes a big man with a white coat and Jimmy lets me out of the little house and pets me. White coat guy then starts touching me too and then he touches my tail. Now, I don't like anyone touching my tail, so I'm getting a little miffed. All of a sudden, I feel something very cold being inserted into the southern end of my body and I don't like it....at first.

About the time I was getting accustomed to the cold thing, white coat guy removes it and grabs me by the back of my neck. I'm thinking, "The last time I grabbed a cat by the back of her neck, I had a plan." I'm starting to get pissed and possibly screwed and then white coat guy sticks something sharp into my fur. I'm thinking, "Check, please" because I'm getting ready to bolt.

Well, Jimmy leaves me with the white coat guy, who then leaves the room and turns out the light. The next thing I know, I wake up in another little house with pain coming from that same southern area where white coat guy was checking my oil.

So, take it from me folks, if anyone asks you to go out, make sure they don't have that little house in their hand or you may end up singing soprano in the choir.

Pet Of The Week: My pal Julie had a case of the stomach flu this week and to make matters worse, she's missed some work as well. Her dog Zoey got her shots this week and Zoey's been feeling a little punky as well. Julie says Zoey has put on a little weight this winter and she needs to lose about ten pounds. Personally, Zoey's one of my favorite pals and I think she looks nice anyway. Stop by and say hello to Julie and Zoey at Julia's New Journal. Here's the link:
http://juliasnewjournal.blogspot.com/

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby." The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man.

The man asks "What's wrong, you look mad?" She replied "I am. That bus driver just insulted me." The man says, "You shouldn't take that from him. He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take down his badge number and report him.

The woman says, "You're right sir. I think I will report him." The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number and I'll hold your monkey for you."A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit. He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..." The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!"

Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..." The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."

A vet gets a midnight phone call from a farmer. "I`ve got a very constipated cow. It`s in great pain, what can I do?" The sleepy vet, tired after working all day says, "If you`ve got one of those small bottles of highly concentrated milk of magnesia, get that down it and I`ll call you in the morning to see how it is."

The next morning the vet calls, "How`s the constipated cow this morning?" The farmer. "Cow? I said cat." The vet says, "Oh Lord, did you give it the concentrate?" The farmer says, "Yes, I got the whole bottleful down its throat, I used a small funnel." The vet says, "Oh no, how is the cat?" The farmer says, "It`s out in the garden."

The vet says, "I'm so sorry, did he die?" The farmer, "No, but it`s out there with four of his friends.....two digging and two filling in."

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !