Pets Of The Week

Congratulations to Stump, a 10 year old Sussex spaniel who won Best In Show at the 2009 Westminister Dog Show. Stump came out of retirement to take the top doggie honors and was the first of his breed to capture the silver bowl. Stump barely made it past 5 or so. He left the show ring in 2004 and later nearly died from a mysterious medical condition. The vets at Texas A&M saved him.

This is BG, short for Burgular Guard, and he is Paula's owner and evidently the swingset boss in the back yard. As you can see, BG has evicted Paula's grandson, Corey, from the swing and has taken command. Although Corey seems quite amused, personally I wouldn't stand for a canine to take anything from me. You can read Paula's journal called Paula's Country tales at http://pl78064.blogspot.com/

Barney is Ally's dog is not very happy about going to see the vet for his yearly injections. Perhaps he'd be more willing if there was a treat involved, but judging from the look on his face, he's been there, done that and wasn't very content when the vet produced the needle. Hang in there guy, it only hurts when you sit. Stop by Ally's journal at http://wwwlifewithally.blogspot.com/

My friend, Isi (Isabel) lives in the Bahamas and she owns this truckload of PUPPIES! The Labrador retrievers are named Diva (the black one), the two chocolates are Hershey and Reggie, the big white pitbull mix is Lucky and the German shepard mix is Santo! I don't know what her dog food bill is but I'm betting she has to rent a backhoe and a dumpster for use as a pooper scooper!

Karen's puppy is named Sheba and strikes me as the type of dog that would make a good and caring friend. Since I'm a cat, I normally don't hang out with canines that much, but if I were to do so, I think I'd hang out with Sheba. Stop by and see Sheba and her pet, Karen at http://howiseeit-karen.blogspot.com/

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

Barney goes into a bar and starts playing pool. Nearby, another man is also shooting pool and has his pet monkey with him. Suddenly, the monkey jumps onto Barney's table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs it into his mouth and swallows it. The first man yells for the bartender who comes over and apolgizes for the incident. Barney finishes his game and leaves.

A week later Barney goes into the bar for a beer. He looks over and sees the same man with the monkey in the corner shooting pool. The bartender brings Barney a beer and some peanuts and walks away.

The monkey comes over to Barney, reaches into the peanut bowl, grabs a nut, sticks it in his butt--then eats it. Barney stares at the monkey who continues to repeat this action. He angrily asks the bartender, "What's up with that monkey grabbing my peanuts one at a time, sticking them in his butt then eating them." The bartender says, "Well, ever since the pool ball incident last week, he measures everything before he eats it."

"You just make damned well sure you tell your family how well I protect your ass Hung Lo 'cause when we get home I don't want to be on the menu"

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham and bacon. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that when pregnant, they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud.

The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs. So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, does each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

The next morning, he was woken up by his wife shaking him and saying "Wake up Dear, the pigs are acting strangely!". The farmer says,"What do you mean? Are they wallowing in the mud?" His wife say, "No, they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

Remember to send me your pet's picture in care of Jimmy at jimsulliv3@aol.com along with any pertinant information that you care to share. Let everyone take a look at them in next Friday's post.

That's Possum's Journal for this week.

Stray Tuned !

A Christmas Wish From My Canine Pals

After speaking to several of my puppy pals, I have made a list of their, you'll excuse the expression, pet peeves. Personally, I don't have any of their particular problems, but then again, I'm a cat. So, I owe one to my canine pals and here's their list.

1. Why do you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping?

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all. By the way, your friend knows it's you.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?).

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it!

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous because I can and you can't.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? That also goes for all the stupid outfits you buy me when you could be buying me doggie treats.


11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home. Another waste of time and money.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.


14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.


15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!

Well, that's my Christmas present to the Canine world and I'll be looking under the Christmas tree for a couple of kilos of catnip.

My Christmas wish for all of my readers is peace and tranquility. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.

Possum

Stray Tuned !

Remembering Cheeta

With all the non-furry skinned creatures campaigning, insulting, screaming and kicking about their precious elections, I would like to stop and remember Cheeta, a great animal star who co-starred in the Tarzan movies of the 1930 and 40s. Cheeta, 76 years old, is retired and lives in Palm Springs, California with his animal trainer Dan Westfall. I'm not sure how old he is in chimpanzee years, but I'm pretty sure the number would qualify as a shitload.

Like any human at the age of 76, Cheeta passes his days like many other retirees. He sleeps late. He watches television. He paints. He listens to lite-FM radio. A big day involves making a trip to McDonald's drive-thru and getting a burger, french fries, and a Diet Coke.

As I am only five-years-old, I never watched any Tarzan movies, but my pet, Jimmy, did and he has filled me in on Cheeta's mischievous antics playing second-banana to Tarzan (Olympic swimming champion turned actor, Johnny Weissmuller) and Jane (Maureen O'Sullivan). Cheeta's later credits include the 1951 comedy Bedtime for Bonzo, costarring Ronald Reagan, 1952's Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.

Born in Liberia in 1932, Cheeta was brought to the United States and purchased by Westfall's uncle, Tom gentry. Originally named Jiggs, he made his first appearance on screen in the 1934 film Tarzan and His Mate, riding on the back of an older chimp who was then playing the role of Cheeta. Although the role of Cheeta was played by many chimpanzees, Jiggs is considered the premier of the group.

Cheeta used to be a bit of a carouser (like some people I know), drinking beer and smoking cigars. Since developing diabetes, he has toned down his intake to include soda pop, corn chips and peanut butter sandwiches.

Cheeta's agent has been trying for eight years to get Cheeta a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. With the likes of my heroes, Garfield, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin and other animal stars having their own stars on the Hollywood Walk, I believe a Hollywood star for Cheeta is long overdue. I'd sure like to see him get a star before those yapping Beverly Hills Chihuahua's do, but that's just me!

Stray Tuned !

The Geenyus Of It All

Some genius finally figured out a small but very important item in making comments on fellow journalists' blogs. As my pal, Bucko a.k.a. Ken, aptly pleaded, "please turn off word verification for comments." When one is following many journals (I hate the word blog), it is just another hurdle to jump while, ahem, making rounds.

Some people have taken heed of Ken's advice, while others have not. Understandably, some fear untoward or unkind comments and I have no particular peeve with that. I do, however, dislike words that I cannot pronounce. It may not make sense to you now, but it will when you finish reading today's entry.

When I comment, I look at the "secret word" which is necessary to type into the stupid little space, so that I can publish my comment. Therein lies the problem! When I read the "secret word," usually "sjcdufenvnm" or "sx98j3fucb," I have to take my eyes off the screen and watch my seven-toed paw attempt to type the "secret word" in. Inevitably, because I can't pronounce it, I usually do it wrong.

In that case, I have to return to the stupid screen, re-read the stupid, "#$*&ing word" and try again. It makes the fur on the back of my neck stand straight up.

Today, as I was making my "rounds," I noticed that the "secret word" codes have been changed so that now, they can be pronounced. So now, in lieu of "wxcvrpd," you get, "lechum" or "glugpo" or "ziptex," which may not be words, but I can pronounce them. And if I can pronounce the damned "secret word," I can type it!

Then, a yellow duck drops down and I win $100, right Groucho?

Somebody must have had fun last night 'cause someone woke up in his recliner this morning. I won't tell you his name, but his initials are J.i.m.m.y.

My hat's off to Beth, author of Nutwood Junction. who has taught me (and others) how to underline my words and place a page break for paragraphs. Salute !

And for my pal Rose....

Two elderly men were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" Fred replied, "Great, they taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me." His friend said, "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?" His friend said, "You mean a rose?"

Fred said, "Yes, that's it!" He turned and yelled to his wife. . ."Hey, Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

I think everyone has a photographic memory, its just that some don't have film. But, that's just me !

Stray Tuned !