Happy Saint Catrick's Day !

It's been a while since I've posted, but things have been a bit hectic. Nevertheless, I'm making a quick entry to wish everyone a Happy St. Catricks Patrick's day.

Remember, we cats are delicate creatures and subject to a good many ailments. None of us, however, suffer from insomnia. There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.....

My Pictures Nice hat, baby !

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. We have never forgotten this. So, do not meddle in the affairs of cats for we are subtle and will pee on your computer keyboard.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. As every cat carer knows, nobody owns a cat.

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

What's-His-Name: A Legend In His Own Mind !

I'm normally not a tattletale but sometimes ya' just need to tell somebody. You-know-who comes sauntering in around 5:30 AM this morning right in the middle of a great dream. You know, one of those really good dreams where you're just about to get lucky. I mean, here's this sexy kitten with her head buried in a tuna can, completely oblivious to me and I'm slowly closing in when......

The sound of a someone fumbling with keys at the the front door interrupts my dream version of the feline hokey-pokey and what do my wondering eyes appear? What's-his name has found his way home....all by himself.

I knew he was up to something when he left last night. As soon as I smelled his "going out cologne", I figured it would be a late night. I did my usual "I'm hungry" trick and stood beside my food dish because I really never know if he'll make it back. Hey, you never know! Besides, if he gets lucky, that means that I don't get fresh food until the next afternoon.

Okay, I was happy to see him and he came home hungry which means we eat anything we can find in the refrigerator that hasn't changed colors. Man, oh man, we ate ham and cheese, fried chicken that he heated up in the microwave...all kinds of goodies!

Then, after a short time on the computer, proudly announcing he found his way home, he takes his normal pilot's seat at the helm of the recliner. I, in turn, take the copilot's position and click!.....we're laid back and ready for some television. I take a brief moment to lick my paw and when I look back, what's-his-name is in la-la land. What a wuss!

So, here we are! Every light in the house is on (as the dawn lights the windows), the TV is on CNN (yuck!) and you-know-who is in a coma. Nothing else for me to do, so I climb up on his chest and catch some zzz's myself.

I wake up later that morning and, being the faithful friend that I am, I smell what's-his-name's breath to see if he is still alive. Okay, he's breathing....so far, so good, but I'm hungry! So, I lick his face a little to wake him and what does he do? He starts yelling, calling me names and tells me I've got bad breath!

I've got bad breath? Bro, I can't begin to tell you the aroma that is coming from your mouth! Besides that, you're lucky that I brought you back to life! Okay, Okay! You weren't dying but how was I to know? Anyway, things are okay now and he's back to his grumpy old self. Life is good!

My Pictures Well, it's been a while since I've posted but last night's escapades had to be heard from my point of view.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: The Wisconsin State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears this summer. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

People should be able to recognize the presence of bears in an area by their droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berry residue and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

A man was so lonely that he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.

So, he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?" But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on!"

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

The little girl, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit."

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Mother's Day !

Happy Mother's Day to all of the beautiful and hard working Moms who so diligently attend to the daily crises of their offspring and are only recognized once a year. Truly, at the start of each and every day, everyone should say a prayer of thanks for all of the wonderful mothers who care for the children 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year.

What's his name's birthday was Friday and he had a great time. I have been reading some of his Facebook posts and I can't wait to hear his version of his birthday escapades. All I know is that he was dancing and singing karaoke here at the house at 6:00 the next morning. Uh...I like to party too, but once the paperboy has left the morning paper and the sun is rising, some people should go to sleep. Sheesh! I thought they would never go to sleep!

I don't know when my birthday is because someone took me from my mother and put me in a dumpster. You-know-who found me there and took me in. Thankfully, whoever dumped me chose a dumpster next to AREA 51 or I'd probably now be living at the dump. So, since I don't know my birthday, I chose what's-his-name birthday for my birthday as well. It's easier for both of us to remember.

My Pictures I found a few Mother's day pictures from the animal world so I thought I'd share them with you.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing. As he was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there. Hours later, the man calls home to his wife and says "Jen, is the cat there?" His wife answered, "Yes, Why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answers, "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

Three feral cats were bragging about their kittens. The first cat said, "My kittens are part Persian. Their father was a pure Persian cat." The third cat said nothing.

The second cat said, "Well, that is nothing. My kittens are part Siamese. Their father was a pure bred Siamese." The third cat said still said nothing.

Then the first two cats asked her, "What are your kittens?" She replied, "Oh, I don't know. I had my head stuck in a tuna can at the time."

A woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. One Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not ready on time."

She dashes out of her friend's house, her great hand forgotten on the table. When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time, not enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is some lettuce, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it! Her husband says, "Darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage."

That night they had sex for the first time in months and it was great! Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this dinner for her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they are all horrified. One girl said, "You're going to kill him", but she continued to make him his cat food dinner and then, afterwards, they would bonk like fiends.

Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women the Thursday after the funeral attacked our new widow for being so callous. "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?" The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He was licking his ass in the middle of the street and a dump truck ran over him."

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!