Remember Your Family And Friends

An old man, his dog and his cat were walking along a road. He was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, with his cat and dog walking beside him. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a white stone wall along one side of the road. At the top of a long hill, a tall arch glowed in the sunlight. While standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl and the street that led to the gate was pure gold.

He and his pets walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a gatekeeper at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he said out, "Excuse me, where are we?" The gatekeeper answered, "This is Heaven, sir." The old man said, "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" The gatekeeper said, "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The gatekeeper gestured and the gate began to open.

Gesturing toward his pets, the old man asked, "Can my friends come in, too?" The gatekeeper said, "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his cat and dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a white haired man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

The old man said, "Excuse me! Do you have any water?'' The white haired man said, "Sure, there's a pump over there, come on in." The old man said, "How about my friends here?" The white haired man said, "Yes, there should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the cat and the dog. When they were full, he and his pets walked back toward the white haired man who was standing by the tree.

The old man said, "What do you call this place?" The white haired man said, "This is Heaven." The old man said, "Well, this is confusing. The man down the road said that was Heaven, too. The white haired man said, ''Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.''

The old man said, "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'' The white haired man replied, "No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

My Pictures: Bonds sometimes form between friends and that bond is often tested, especially in difficult times. At the end of life's trail, power and wealth cannot compare to a lasting bond between good friends.

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in !

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: My thanks to my pal Vivian for her contribution to today's stories.

A rabbit broke out of the tobacco testing laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking, for the first time in his life. The rabbit thought, "Wow, this is great." It wasn't long before he came to a hedge. After squeezing under it, he saw a wonderful sight - lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.

The rabbit called out, "Hey, I'm a rabbit from the tobacco testing laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?" The rabbits called back, "Yes, come and join us," The rabbit hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. The rabbit said, "What else do you wild rabbits do?" Another rabbit said, "You see that field there? It's got carrots and lettuce growing in it. We dig up carrots and eat them and nibble on the lettuce too." This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots and lettuce. They were wonderful.

Later, the rabbit asked, "Is there anything else you guys do?" One of the male rabbits came a bit closer. Pointing to the far corner of the field, he said, "You see those rabbits there? They're girl rabbits and we have sex with them. Go and try it."

Well, the rabbit found a willing female and spent the rest of the morning with her until, completely exhausted, he said to the female rabbit, "That was fantastic!" The female said, "So are you going to live with us?" The rabbit said, "I'm sorry, I had a great time, but I need to go back to the tobacco testing laboratory." The female said, "Why? I thought you liked it here." The rabbit said, "I do, but I'm dying for a cigarette."

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit. He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet. I think you must be a rabbit" The rabbit says, "I'm a rabbit! Yippee!"

Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, slimy all over, and you have no balls" The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Tagged? Nah, Dogs Get Tagged, Cats Get Titled !

My pal, Julie, gave me a task to do. It's something called tagged and it comes with a whole bunch or rules. Normally, I don't perform "tasks", I assign them to my pet, Jimmy, but since Julie's owner, Zoey (pictured), is a pal, I will complete some (but not all) of the assignment. The rules are as follows:

* link to the person who tagged you - Not sure how to do it but I'll try

* list 6 random things about yourself - Easy enough

* tag 6 new people - Nope

* let each tagged person know by posting a comment on their blog - Ok

* link to the 6 people you've tagged - Nope

* let the person who tagged you know that you posted - Betcha wont say that to a shark!

Ok, here's the deal. Although I have waived my right to remain silent, anything written below is considered hearsay and is not enforceable in a court of law. Please stop by Julie's New Journal for the original rules and a fun read. Here's the link: http://juliasnewjournal.blogspot.com/

I started out as a kitten. Somewhere in my early weeks of life, I was lying there taking the occasional swig of milk from my mom and boom! Darkness.....! The next thing I know I'm behind a restaurant all by myself, in a dumpster. So I check it out. It's two lid job, and one lid's always open so, it ain't too bad as a temporary home. Whoever dumped me (no pun intended) at least left with me with a little shelter. Hey, and there's food in here, too! Later, at night, I got scared and started to cry. That's when Jimmy found me and adopted me. Hey, it ain't Vegas, but he's an ok guy!

I had an operation. I used to like to sing and as any cotton picking idiot knows....wait, I can't say that any more... it's not politically correct, especially nowadays... sorry, democrats. As I was saying I always liked to sing and as you know, it's best to sing underneath someone's window at say, two or three in the morning.

Well, the next thing I know, we're in Jimmy's car and we're going somewhere. Jimmy said we were going to the zoo but that wasn't true. I met a nice man in a white coat, he gave me some medicine and I went to sleep. When I woke up and tried to sing, my voice was much higher. Jimmy tries to sing too and if you want to hear him, there's a link on my sidebar to his My Space Karaoke site. He'd better get all that singing out of his system soon, cause you never know , one day, he too, might meet the nice man in the white coat.

I have some cool pals and they have pets as well. Zoey's pet is named Julie. Sheeba (she's a he) has two pets named Bucko and Beth, Mr. Michael's pet is Krissy, Shanti's pet is Nancy and Gabi, who's real cute, owns Linda in rainy Washington. Pickles is a cool dog with special magic powers that help Indigo to hear. My favorite pal was Luke the Wonder dog. Luke's pet is Anne, but Luke got sick and passed away. I miss Luke a lot!

I have a lot more pals, but I can't name them all right now. Maybe one day, I'll just sit down and write about each and every one of them.

I have seven toes on each of my front paws. I don't know why, I just do. It's one thing to have paws that are a little different from other cats, but for some uncanny reason, mine have to be highlighted by white boots. It's sorta like having a zit with its own spotlight. Cats of my ilk are referred to as Hemmingways, after the well known author, who had six and seven toed cats as well. Over 100 descendants of Hemmingway cats still live in Key west.

So, Jimmy named me Possum 'cause he says I have the look of an Opossum (He dropped the "O" because he didn't want me to be in the "O" category, if you get my drift...Opossum.. Obama.. Ohellno). The "Hemmingway" moniker is now obvious, which leads us to the middle initial "S". You'd think it might be short for Stanley or Stuart or even like Harry S. Truman, whose "S" stood for nothing, Nope, It's short for Shithead! Yep! Clever, isn't he? It could be worse, I guess, he used to call me Numbnuts until my operation.

What is a Cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere. Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

I am far more intelligent than my pet, Jimmy knows. He works, I don't. He buys groceries, I eat them. He cleans our house, I watch. He goes out, I go to sleep. He has girlfriends come and visit. I sit in their laps and they pet me (and then I watch). It's a rough life, but I manage.

Stray Tuned !