Memories Of My First Trip To The Vet And Why I Almost Became An Alcoholic

I remember my first trip to the cat doctor like it was yesterday and I still get the shakes when I think about it. My memories of being a kitten are somewhat vague, but suffice to say I remember those days of innocence...running, playing, hiding from Jimmy...good times!

One day, I was about to have the house to myself as Jimmy was going to work. I look over and saw this neat little box sitting by the front door. So, I went inside it and started playing, but that got old after five minutes. Then, I got up on the sofa for a catnap as Jimmy came over to give me my morning pat on the head.

All of a sudden he picks me up, puts me in the little house and closes the door. I'm thinking, "Hey, what's going on here?" The next thing I know, the little house goes outside with me in it and they put me in a car. I thought, "Now what?" I wondered where we were going? Maybe we were going to that place that they take that stupid mutt next door for something called 'stud purposes.' " That flea bag always comes back all happy with a stupid grin on his face.

Well, we go to another place and they take me and the little house inside. There's all kinds of people and critters in a little room, most of them ugly dogs. So there I sit, bored in the little house and a person in a white coat comes out. Jimmy picks me up and we go to another room.

In comes a big man with a white coat and Jimmy lets me out of the little house and pets me. White coat guy then starts touching me too and then he touches my tail. Now, I don't like anyone touching my tail, so I'm getting a little miffed. All of a sudden, I feel something very cold being inserted into the southern end of my body and I don't like it....at first.

About the time I was getting accustomed to the cold thing, white coat guy removes it and grabs me by the back of my neck. I'm thinking, "The last time I grabbed a cat by the back of her neck, I had a plan." I'm starting to get pissed and possibly screwed and then white coat guy sticks something sharp into my fur. I'm thinking, "Check, please" because I'm getting ready to bolt.

Well, Jimmy leaves me with the white coat guy, who then leaves the room and turns out the light. The next thing I know, I wake up in another little house with pain coming from that same southern area where white coat guy was checking my oil.

So, take it from me folks, if anyone asks you to go out, make sure they don't have that little house in their hand or you may end up singing soprano in the choir.

Pet Of The Week: My pal Julie had a case of the stomach flu this week and to make matters worse, she's missed some work as well. Her dog Zoey got her shots this week and Zoey's been feeling a little punky as well. Julie says Zoey has put on a little weight this winter and she needs to lose about ten pounds. Personally, Zoey's one of my favorite pals and I think she looks nice anyway. Stop by and say hello to Julie and Zoey at Julia's New Journal. Here's the link:
http://juliasnewjournal.blogspot.com/

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby." The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man.

The man asks "What's wrong, you look mad?" She replied "I am. That bus driver just insulted me." The man says, "You shouldn't take that from him. He's a public worker and should give you respect. If I was you I would take down his badge number and report him.

The woman says, "You're right sir. I think I will report him." The elderly man says, "You go on up there and get his badge number and I'll hold your monkey for you."A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit. He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..." The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!"

Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..." The snake says, "Oh no, I'm a lawyer."

A vet gets a midnight phone call from a farmer. "I`ve got a very constipated cow. It`s in great pain, what can I do?" The sleepy vet, tired after working all day says, "If you`ve got one of those small bottles of highly concentrated milk of magnesia, get that down it and I`ll call you in the morning to see how it is."

The next morning the vet calls, "How`s the constipated cow this morning?" The farmer. "Cow? I said cat." The vet says, "Oh Lord, did you give it the concentrate?" The farmer says, "Yes, I got the whole bottleful down its throat, I used a small funnel." The vet says, "Oh no, how is the cat?" The farmer says, "It`s out in the garden."

The vet says, "I'm so sorry, did he die?" The farmer, "No, but it`s out there with four of his friends.....two digging and two filling in."

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !