Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Remember The Vets - Except The One That Neutered Me !

My normal definition of the word "Vet" has a special stigma attached to it. My first encounter with a "Vet" resulted in having a needle stuck into me under the guise of "medicine", having a probe inserted into my south end as I was heading north under the guise of a word referred to as "temperature" and then quietly watching the room grow dim. When I awoke, there were parts of my anatomy that were no longer attached and I sang in a much higher tone than in the past.

Although my first encounter with a "Vet" was a traumatic experience, I have since learned that there is another kind of "Vet' that is much more honorable. I refer to the men and women of the armed forces who have fought and defended out freedom since America became a nation. I might also add that there have been many faithful animals wha have also been a big part of America's defense.

Today is Veterans Day and there's no better time than right now to take the time to reflect and praise the men and women who have defended and will continue to defend and serve this great nation.You can also read a tribute to Veterans on Jimmy's Journal - TheOriginal by clicking the link below. http://jimmysjournal-theoriginal.blogspot.com/

Stray Tuned !

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Remembering Cheeta

With all the non-furry skinned creatures campaigning, insulting, screaming and kicking about their precious elections, I would like to stop and remember Cheeta, a great animal star who co-starred in the Tarzan movies of the 1930 and 40s. Cheeta, 76 years old, is retired and lives in Palm Springs, California with his animal trainer Dan Westfall. I'm not sure how old he is in chimpanzee years, but I'm pretty sure the number would qualify as a shitload.

Like any human at the age of 76, Cheeta passes his days like many other retirees. He sleeps late. He watches television. He paints. He listens to lite-FM radio. A big day involves making a trip to McDonald's drive-thru and getting a burger, french fries, and a Diet Coke.

As I am only five-years-old, I never watched any Tarzan movies, but my pet, Jimmy, did and he has filled me in on Cheeta's mischievous antics playing second-banana to Tarzan (Olympic swimming champion turned actor, Johnny Weissmuller) and Jane (Maureen O'Sullivan). Cheeta's later credits include the 1951 comedy Bedtime for Bonzo, costarring Ronald Reagan, 1952's Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.

Born in Liberia in 1932, Cheeta was brought to the United States and purchased by Westfall's uncle, Tom gentry. Originally named Jiggs, he made his first appearance on screen in the 1934 film Tarzan and His Mate, riding on the back of an older chimp who was then playing the role of Cheeta. Although the role of Cheeta was played by many chimpanzees, Jiggs is considered the premier of the group.

Cheeta used to be a bit of a carouser (like some people I know), drinking beer and smoking cigars. Since developing diabetes, he has toned down his intake to include soda pop, corn chips and peanut butter sandwiches.

Cheeta's agent has been trying for eight years to get Cheeta a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. With the likes of my heroes, Garfield, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin and other animal stars having their own stars on the Hollywood Walk, I believe a Hollywood star for Cheeta is long overdue. I'd sure like to see him get a star before those yapping Beverly Hills Chihuahua's do, but that's just me!

Stray Tuned !

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Art Of Disguise

Much like the tactics used by my pet and benefactor, Jimmy, I often use the guile of disguise as a means to obtain things I desire. I watched in amusement as Jimmy, in a pathetic attempt to appear to be wearing a Halloween costume, casually left me alone for AREA 51, not only Friday night, but Saturday night as well.

The fortunate thing for me was that both nights, that charlatan managed to find food (good food, not Meow Mix) on his way home from his sojourn around the area. Additionally, he decided to "spread the wealth" and share it with me. I'm relatively sure that his friend and spiritual advisor, Johnny Walker Black, influenced his decision.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the gesture and did not give him any grief about leaving me behind and the tardiness of his return. I did, however, revel in glee as he constantly complained about his condition on Sunday. Hey! You wanna play? Ya gotta pay!

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "Tsquare, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

The Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

The Chemist said his cat could do even better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

I think I'll hang out with the Government Worker's cat. He seems to have his act down pat and is already benefiting from the spread the wealth issue, but that's just me.

Stray tuned !