Saturday, December 20, 2008

A Christmas Wish From My Canine Pals

After speaking to several of my puppy pals, I have made a list of their, you'll excuse the expression, pet peeves. Personally, I don't have any of their particular problems, but then again, I'm a cat. So, I owe one to my canine pals and here's their list.

1. Why do you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping?

2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all. By the way, your friend knows it's you.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?).

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it!

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous because I can and you can't.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? That also goes for all the stupid outfits you buy me when you could be buying me doggie treats.

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home. Another waste of time and money.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!

Well, that's my Christmas present to the Canine world and I'll be looking under the Christmas tree for a couple of kilos of catnip.

My Christmas wish for all of my readers is peace and tranquility. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.


Stray Tuned !


Linda's World said...

Hi Possum, Gabi here. Great list...except some of those things I don't understand because there are no dogs in this house. I do see them out the window, taking their people for walks. Have you snooped and found your Christmas present yet? I found a hidden package of Feline Greenies, so I guess that's what I'm getting. Hugs, meow & hiss from Gabi in Washington where it's really cold.

Linda's World said...

Hi again PSH, it's me Gabi. That picture between #4 and #5....that little white ball of fluff over to the left...well that's probably kind of what I looked like when I was little except I'm gray & white. I bet I was a cutie! You too ~ my person says that litte kittens are some of the cutest babies in the whole wide world...even cuter than puppies. Of course we count even include human babies...they ae a whole different catagory. Meows to you. GLS

garnett109 said...

Merry Christmas to you From Sassy!

Paula said...

Merry Christmas and may your New Year be full of treats. Susie

Heli gunner Tom said...

I like/ prefer dogs that are trained and useful. I know that many folks just want a lap dog to fondle and spoil, but i was raised on a farm where everyone pulled their load.

My 2 cents.

"Old Soldier Tom's Journal"
'Let it Snow!'

Woody said...

Hey Possum, You forgot a couple:
one, Why do you put me outside at 15 below zero with a steel chain around my neck, my water bowl frozen solid and can't here me barking at you that my paws are numb ?

two: why do you take me in the car, park in the sun and expect me to sit inside a 120 degree car with the window rolled down only about an inch???

Melanie said...

Merry christmas to you too Possum!

Tygey and Floyd say hello!


salemslot9 said...

Happy Christmas, Possum

Anne said...

What a wonderdul Christmas wish and right back at cha! Just arrived in Arizona with Doc in tow. I love the pictures of the dogs and I think next year one will find ME......Love ya Jim Sullivan... Anne

natalie said...

dear Possum
great job!
I love the pictures you've included!
what will your human get you for Christmas this year???

Jude said...

Tell your friggin' doggy buddies that I do not stick my nose in anyone's ass, so I have no idea what cat's ass tastes like.