Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Just Say No !

As a public service to my loyal readers, I would like to address an important subject that has ofttimes been overlooked by the public. The issue is catnip, yes, catnip! You see it in the pet shops and stores, packaged neatly and disguised in so many seemingly harmless ways. Yet this drug (and it is a drug) affects the lives of many felines all over America. Many underaged cats and kittens often acquire catnip without ever being checked for identification. This leads to behavior that is not becoming of any animal, especially a cat.

Humans use this trickery to amuse themselves while the disgustingly drunken cat does things that even the lowly canine would not do. Sure, they say it is a harmless recreational drug much akin to the marijuana that many two legged species occasionally partake, but it leads to brash acts of stupidity and carelessness. In the case of the feline pictured here, after ingesting catnip, he becomes positive that he works at toll booth on the freeway.

Take the case of a female feline friend who indulged in catnip. She went outside for a walk and spotted a half-empty can of tuna. Obviously suffering from the munchies, she buried her head in the tuna can, was attacked from behind and now has a litter of kittens to remind her of the use of catnip. To add insult to injury and judging from the stripes on the kitten's backs, the offender was probably a democrat.

In another incident of catnip abuse, a cat was spotted with a known outlaw biker. Both were observed flagrantly flaunting their disdain for ordinary law-abiding citizens in a drunken display of reckless behavior (although they did wear safety helmets).

It is incidents like these that truly expose the danger of catnip abuse and can affect the normally elegant behavior of the feline. I urge you to think carefully before you encourage your cat to "turn on". I will therefore volunteer to accept any catnip contraband that you may encounter and will dispose of these drugs properly.

Well it's December and time for me to watch Jimmy start searching all over the house for body parts that he misplaced while partying. He already started with the long Thanksgiving weekend but he started running out of gas sometime Friday and wimped out of the usual weekend parties. As long as he brings home a kitty bag, I'll be happy. I call it a kitty bag 'cause I wouldn't eat out of a doggie bag and I definitely don't gnaw stupid, meatless bones.

I'll be trying to keep you up to date with Jimmy's adventures in AREA 51 especially the parts he doesn't tell you. I think that there will be some funny stuff to report if last year's holiday season is any indication, but that's just me.

Stray Tuned !


garnett109 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
garnett109 said...

Possum your suppose to gnaw on it not smoke it!

Solitary Dancer said...

LOL, Possum you have to get it right. You chew on it and roll on it. Repeat and roll again. Continue until you can't stand up. :-)


Rose said...

I think it's o.k. if you tell us about Jimmy's adventures...you know.....the stories he does not tell us! LOL

Hugs, Rose

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Just a pinch between the cheek and gums :o)

Paula said...

Hey I'd like to try some of that stuff. My master won't even buy it for me. Susie

Linda's World said...

PSH, Gabi here~I am one classy girl kitty that is not affected by said Catnip. Nope not one little bit. My person (Linda) sprinkles it around from time to time on my pink blanket & I just take a courtesy sniff and then lay down & got to sleep. No rolling around for this gal. Thanks for the shocking commentary on the dangers of this awful drug. Hugs & meows from Gabi Lin

Joann said...

Possum, thank you so much for that informative post!! I'll be sure not to inhale!! = )

salemslot9 said...

hi cutie!

Lori said...

Dear Possum: is there any time when it is acceptable for a cat to use catnip? For example, one of the cats who owns my sister Barbara, an older, serious, mature cat, has been plagued lately by an impertinent little imp of a kitten who recently joined his household. Panjandrum (the older cat) has had to put up with all kinds of shenanigans, including this kitten trying to get him to play. ::gasp!:: Then Panjandrum discovered a use for catnip. (Please note that up to the arrival of the kitten, Panjandrum had never shown any interest in catnip.) Whenever the young upstart started annoying Panjandrum, he would grap a catnip mouse, rub it all over his face, head, neck, and then he would very happily (even ecstatically) begin playing with the kitten. The catnip made him able to tolerate and even enjoy the kitten's presence, and because of it the kitten had a playmate. Is it really that wrong to use catnip that way? Wouldn't that count as a "medical use" of the drug? I eagerly await your opinion.
A Reader in Indiana

Julie said...

And don't inhale. Or move to California where it is legal and they all roll around on it looking silly. I love your pole dancer, what a hoot.