Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy New Year From Possum S. Hemmingway

There has currently been a stir throughout America about a You Tube video entitled "Barack the Magic Negro", a political satire ostensibly using the imitated voice of Al "Podium Al" Sharpton and sung to the tune of Peter, Paul and Mary's "Puff the Magic Dragon." The debate is if this, in fact, is political satire, racism or just insensitive in nature.

In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible. But, enough about O.J. Simpson.

I, too, have spent a lot of sleepless nights (and days, I'm a cat, you know) worrying about Barack Obama and "Podium Al" Sharpton's sensitivity. I have recently been the target of racism myself. I received the following words via email entitled "How To Wash A Cat" and I am not a happy camper.....

1. Put both lids of the toilet up add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8.. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, And run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

This is obvious racism to the "nth" degree and should not be tolerated. Many of my canine colleagues have concurred with my assessment of this and have vowed to stand behind me.

Best wishes for a safe and Happy New Year and......

Stray Tuned !


garnett109 said...

Possum, sassy usually throws a few mice in the washer and when one of the cats go in she slams the lids and puts it on heavy dute cycle.
Have a Happy New Year and keep an eye on jimmy!

Rose said...

I know where your cat gets the personality!

Hugs, Rose

Paula said...

Hey Possum why don't you drag the garden hose in through the window and fill his bed while he is sleeping. Your friend Susie

Linda's World said...

Hi my sweet Possum, it's me Gabi. My mom tried to give me a bath in the kitchen sink once and I howled to loud she was afraid the neighbors would call the Humane Society. So then I think she took me to the cat doctor's place for a bath. I say "I think" she did this, because the lady stuck me with a needle thingy and I kinda went to sleep. I vaguely remember being wet, then being dried with a big blow dryer thing and then the lady put me in a cage and after awhile mom came & got me. I remember mom saying that I smelled real good when she came to get me. So I think she took me there for a bath. But that story about being put into the toilet for a bath really ticks me off. Anybody that would really do that to one of our feline brothers or sisters should be hung by their thumbs. Love & Happy New year from Gabi in Washington

Julie said...

I needed a hearty laugh today and you were just what the doctor ordered. Hummmmm. My sons cat needs a bath. Maybe I will copy the instructions and bring them to him. Loved the OJ joke. Haven't seen the obama video on You tube but no one raised a fuss when Bush was ridiculed. What goes around comes around, yes!

salemslot9 said...

never gave a cat a bath~they usually take care of themselves~brushing is good, though

Jude said...

You have my sympathy. How undignified. And damn that dog. He should be standing in the toilet with you and not behind you. Especially when the toilet lid goes up. Now as far as Barak Obama is concerned? Oh well. Seriously, he isn't so bad. On the other hand, Al Sharpton should probably be standing in front of the toilet with penis in hand, ready to pee, when the lid comes up. Go, gutless Al.