Saturday, July 18, 2009

Possum's Back And I have An Agenda !

My apologies to all my pals for not posting lately, but there have been a few changes around here that have made it difficult for me to post. You-know-who has acquired a new toy, namely a program for performing, recording and producing his favorite songs for a new CD. At first, I thought it was a good idea because I like to hear what's his name sing, but things quickly changed.

The funny thing was watching him downloading programs and trying to install them. You know he never reads the instructions. He just starts working on the program and then it doesn't work. At that point, I alway head for my secret hiding spot 'cause he says bad words and yells at no one in particular. Sooner or later, he goes back and reads the instructions and...voila! It works! ....and he calls me Shithead! Au contraire mon ami....

Anyway, there he sits just singing his ass off and I know he's gonna make a mistake 'cause he doesn't even have the lyrics in front of him. Sure enough, he makes a mistake and starts that infantile yelling. I told him to print the lyrics, but nooooo....he's knows the words. Right !

Then, the other day, he's recording a song that I like, so I add a little meow background vocal to his song. Boy! You'd think I just peed on the carpet. He rants and raves and then he erases everything and starts over. Then he turns to me and says I ruined the song. Hey, I sang in tune...it's that he doesn't really appreciate my Kool Kat styling.

He seems to have it working well now and I'm glad. He's such a perfectionist (that's how humans describe obsessive-compulsive) that it gets pretty stormy intil he finally gets it. The good thing about him is that he gets guilty feelings after he calms down and then I get treats 'n stuff.

The other reason I haven't posted is I spotted a lady friend sitting on the neighbors back yard and I've developed an interest in her. She keeps looking at me (I am quite the looker, you know), but I don't know if she's allowed to come over. I tell you one thing though, if she meows at my front door, he'd better let her in. I don't say anything when his lady friends come over and sit in my spot on the sofa. A contrario, I even rub against them and let them pet me.

I always read your comments on Jimmy's Journal and I'm really happy that all my lady friends and pals have been asking about me. I'll be trying to post more often but remember, no matter what, you guys are the best!

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell right on his nose. The bunny said. "Oh, please excuse me! I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."

The snake said, "That's perfectly all right. To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" The bunny said, "Well, I really don't know. I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"

The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?" The snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him. When he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"

The bunny replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later, no centipede. 20 minutes later, no centipede. 30 minutes later, no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Where is that centipede?

So he goes to the front door, opens it. There's the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, "Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 30 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!" The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"

That's Possum's Journal for now my little catnips. More soon!

Stray Tuned !

9 comments:

Ally Lifewithally said...

I just love your jokes I'm still laughing at the centipede putting his shoes on ~ Ally x

Julie said...

I can just imagine Jimmy doing the recording and trying to get it to work, chuckling here. Glad you found a safe place to get out of the fireworks. Hope he lets the neighbor cat in but be good.

Melanie said...

Welcome back Possum!

Tigey and Floyd told me to give you a few of their fav treats..freeze dried shrimp...here ya go (___)
Bon Appitite

Melanie

Paula said...

So good to see ya Possum. Keep on buggin' him so he will give you more treats. Good centipede joke.

Linda's World said...

Hello my favorite black & white kitty. I've been missing you too. I wish I lived closer to you, because then when he's doing his recording thing, you could come to my house. My advice is to just to keep bugging him, put up with it when he's mad & then you'll get lots of treats. Purrrrrs to you, Linda in Washington

Tabby said...

Sure missed you Mr. Kitty, I hope Jimmy lets you neighbor come over. Loved all your jokes :)

Martha said...

Sure have missed you Possum, it's great to have you back. I loved your lawyer joke! Good luck with the little lady next door and try to be patient with Jimmy :-)

Joann said...

Hi Possum, good to hear from you!! Cute jokes!! And you cracked me up with this entry!! I think he should let you add your own background sound track, but like you said, he's a perfectionist!! LOL!!

natalie said...

hi Possum!
Hey you are popular!
that neighbor has sense!
please come by and visit!
Wow!
JImmy is performing!
I am stunned!
hugs,natalie