My Name Is Samantha

My name is Samantha and my new human, Jimmy, adopted me on April 30th, 2014. I'm unsure of what "adoption" means because I had made friends with Tom and Michelle, who fed me and petted me.

They were afraid that their long time family dog, Lady, might eat me for lunch one day, but I'm pretty sure I could have charmed her. They decided they didn't want to take the chance and posted a picture of me on Facebook looking for a good home. Jimmy answered the call.

So one day, Tom took me to the vet for vaccinations and something else which we didn't discuss. The next thing I know, I'm riding with Jimmy to his house. Jimmy's says I got fixed, which I don't really understand. I'm relatively sure that I wasn't broken, but I digress.

I'm slowly adjusting to my new home and Jimmy gives me a lot of food and pets me. It's still a little scary, though. Twenty days ago I was a free spirit. Then I met Tom and Michelle who I love. Then, the next thing I know, I'm living in a new home and my "hoo-hoo" hurts from being "fixed".

I like it here, but Jimmy doesn't remember my name very well. Sometimes he calls me Possum and even Possum's notorious nickname. I don't mind that so much 'cause I know how much he misses Possum.

I don't think he's sure about my name. Sometimes he calls me "Blackie" and even worse, he often call me "Cat". The thing that really gets me is that he occasionally refers to me as "He" and "Boy". Hello? I'm a girl, thank you. Reading Possum's notes gave me some insight though.

See, Jimmy gave me all of Possum's old notes and files so that I could continue the tradition of Possum's Journal. Possum referred to him a lot as "What's His Name" or "You Know Who" and I'm betting that was Possum's reaction to having his name occasionally mangled, as well. Nevertheless, Possum seemed to love 'ol "What's His Name" (Lol).

I'm going to try to continue writing Possum's Journal and I know I've got some big pawprints to follow, but I'm gonna do my best. I hope all of Possum's friends and followers will give me a chance.

Possum S. Hemmingway must have been a pretty special cat and my only hope is that I will become special to all of his friends as well.

My Pictures This is Lady and her humans are Tom and Michelle. I think she would have liked me. She's cute !

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: What is a Cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone.

When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
 

A woman found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The woman goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."

The woman says, "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says, "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days."

The woman says, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says, "Better stay off your bicycle for a week or two."

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Mother's Day from Samantha

In Memoriam - Possum S. Hemmingway

With the utmost regret, I have the painful duty to tell you that my beloved cat, Possum, passed away on March 30th, 2014. I made an announcement on Jimmy's Journal early in April, but I have been unable to pen his memorial without crying.

I found Possum in a dumpster sometime in 2003. He was just a kitten and I adopted him. We have spent the last eleven or so years together and he was always my faithful companion.

About a month before he died, he had become a bit lethargic and I began to realize the end was near. He died peacefully and in no pain.

After Possum passed, my first thoughts were that I would not adopt any new animal because of the unbearable pain of his loss. Thanks to the encouragement of my family, friends and very dear Facebook friends, I have adopted a little juvenile black female kitty who was found by Tom and Michelle, a loving couple in Pembroke Pines.

Tom and Michelle were unable to keep the kitten because they already have a large German shepherd who rules the roost. They were so caring that the arranged and paid for the female to be spayed and vaccinated at their own cost.

I have yet to name the kitten, being torn between several names. She is currently with me, recovering from her surgery on Friday. She is becoming familiar in her new home and is eating well.

Possums Journal will continue to be published and will be narrated in future posts by my black kitten. Anyone who has a loss and wishes me to publish a small memorial is welcome to email me with their story.

Possum now joins his pals Gabi Lin, Luke the Wonder Dog, Zoey and Coatie on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Although the journal will have a new narrator, the name will never change. It will always be Possum's Journal.

Rest in peace, my sweet Possum. I will always love you.....

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Saint Catrick's Day !

It's been a while since I've posted, but things have been a bit hectic. Nevertheless, I'm making a quick entry to wish everyone a Happy St. Catricks Patrick's day.

Remember, we cats are delicate creatures and subject to a good many ailments. None of us, however, suffer from insomnia. There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.....

My Pictures Nice hat, baby !

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. We have never forgotten this. So, do not meddle in the affairs of cats for we are subtle and will pee on your computer keyboard.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. As every cat carer knows, nobody owns a cat.

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Farewell Sweet Coatie !

Hi everyone - sorry for not posting lately, but as you know, we cats march to our own drumbeat. I'm especially sad today because my pal Coatie has crossed over the rainbow bridge. My heart goes out to her human mom Regina as we all know the suffering that one goes through in these unfortunate times.

Those who have or had animals know that they are special. The sound of your voice makes them happy. Each and everyone of them know you by the smell of your breath. In my case, it's a bit easier because Johnnie Walker Black scotch has a distinct aroma.

So, today we add Coatie's picture to my sidebar for all to remember. The redeeming factor for me is that Coatie joins "Luke the Wonder Dog", "Gabi Lin", "Zoey" and the others who will welcome Coatie into the arms and take care of her.

Rest in peace, sweet Coatie !

My Pictures Innocence.....

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: The 5 laws of cats

1. Law of Cat Inertia: A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
2. Law of Cat Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
3. Law of Cat Sleeping: All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
4. Law of Cat Obstruction: A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic. 5. Law of Furniture Replacement: A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a warning sign that read "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the door. Inside, he noticed a harmless little dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the owner, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" The owner replied, "Yep, that’s him."

The stranger couldn’t help but be amused and said. "That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" The owner answered,"Because before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. The personnel director says, "You’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.

The director says, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course." This perfect canine specimen finishes the course in record time.

The director continues, “There’s one last requirement. You must be bilingual.” With confidence, the dog looks up at him and says, "Meow!"

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Easter from Possum S. Hemmingway

I wish a Happy Easter to all of my family and friends, both two legged and four legged. Please remember that colored Easter chicks and rabbits are a responsibility and not a children's toy.

Stray Tuned !

Happy New Year from Possum S. Hemmingway

Happy New Year to all my pals and readers. Today's entry is a simple way to choose a human to live with. I say this with the deepest respect for you-know-who but I was young and in love.

Human beings are large, clumsy animals with extremely poor night vision that make a lot of noise. However, they live in weather-proof homes and are easily trained.

Choosing Your Human: Humans don't realize this, but we choose which humans to live with and which ones to avoid. Avoid humans who start sneezing when we get close. They are allergic to us. Also avoid ones that try and kick us. A good human will bend down and reach out to scratch an ear and start saying something stupid like "nice kitty kitty." The trick is to get inside the human's home to see if they have a suitable environment for one of our superior species.

Getting Carried Around: While walking to one's destination is preferable, it is nevertheless fun to be picked up and carried around by a human, because this provides a much loftier view of things. Female humans are more likely to pick you up. They will try and scratch your belly, so arch your back and they will reach under you. For some reason, most humans instinctively pick us up at that point.

Getting Fed On Time: Humans are somewhat erratic in their eating habits, but this must not be allowed to conflict with our getting fed exactly on time every day. Pick a time, usually at 5 in the morning, and insist on being fed. Vocalize your hunger, and if necessary, wake the human up. Initially, the human will throw you outside, thinking you've received a call from nature. But in a week or two they will catch on and get the food out on time.

Getting The Right Food: Unfortunately modern humans are inept at hunting, thus they purchase all their food. Generally, they buy things in cans, bags or boxes to feed us. They should eat this stuff. The appropriate training regime is to walk up to the bowl of this awful processed food, sniff at it, walk around the bowl a few times and then decamp to your favorite perch for a nice little nap.

A few days of this, and the human begins to feel guilty about you starving. Eventually they will produce something moderately edible. If, by chance, something really good turns up, make sure you let the human know this is preferred to the dry crunchy stuff.

Napping Sites: Human dwellings are just full of nice little places to nap, such as window sills, the tops of dressers, inside closets, under couches, whatever. Many of these places, however, will initially be places the human thinks they have control over. You must disabuse them of this territoriality as soon as possible.

Typically, if the human finds you in a place they think is theirs, they will grab you and toss you. An exciting moment of flying through the air. Go back. After a while the human will mutter "stupid kitty," and leave you alone.

Other Cats: Some humans are excessively fond of our companionship and thus attempt to bring more than one of us into their home. Remember, first one inside is king (or queen). Humans don't like the sound of our displeasure being voiced at an intruder, but they will rarely do anything about it. It is nice to have a few companions around, provided the human increases the food supply.

The Litter Box: Most humans are fairly conscientious about cleaning out the litter box with adequate frequency. However, some humans will accidentally lock us in a room, or forget to clean the litter box often enough. We all know what we do to the human on that occasion, don't we.

Gifts: Humans don't think they are animals, so they don't understand gifts. Don't bother. Keep the mouse for yourself.

Expressing Affection: The deal is we get a free place to live that is dry and warm, and adequate food, in exchange for once in a while recognizing the human exists and letting it touch us. Humans like to hear us purr, because they think that is our way of saying we're happy. They have no idea. Don't get too stand-off-ish as the human will not understand, and become anxious. A calm human is a reliable human when it comes to dinner.

Naming: Humans immediately give us stupid little names. If you don't like the name, act deaf. Once they pick a name you like, then respond. If the human is really nice to you, and understands our language, then tell them your true name.

Conclusion: Humans are much easier to train, than, for example, their stupid dogs.

My Pictures "Gimme a bite!"

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. She says, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter." A little girl raises her hand and says, "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."   The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

The little girl began, "Well, I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!" The teacher said, "That must've been scary." The little girl said, "It sure was! My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...and before he could say 'F*ck', the Rottweiler ate him!"

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Merry Christmas from Possum

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all my pals. You-know-who came home at 4 am this morning. The good part was that someone gave him a big bag of people food and he gave me a lot!

Just between you and me, I think he was drinking alcoholic beverages because he kissed me right on my nose. Yechh ! What a cat has to put up with to get some roasted pork.

My Pictures What a family.......

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay and he starts feeling the rabbit.

The snake says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, two long ears and big back feet..." The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!"

Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..." The snake says, "Oh crap, I'm a lawyer!"

"See, I know you told me not to play in the mud puddle, and I wasn't playing in the mud puddle, but what happened was......"

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing. As he was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife and says, "Jen, is the cat there?" His wife answers. "Yes. Why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answers, "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Thanksgiving From Possum S. Hemmingway

Far be it from me not celebrate Thanksgiving with my feline family and friends. It's been years since I left the litter and ventured out on my own. But, I have fond memories of Mom and I do appreciate the fact that the reason I exist is because of that time when Mom was eating out of a tuna can and let her guard down. Thanks for stopping by Pop, wherever you are.

Along the way, I adopted a human friend and we've been pals ever since. I know I've spoiled him somewhat but old what's-his-name takes pretty good care of me as well. Fortunately, when things sometimes get out of hand, I can email my pal Linda in Washinton State and she can voice my complaints.

Nevertheless. life is good and for that same reason, I'd like to wish all of my readers, family and friends a Happy Thanksgiving. Take the time today to say "I love you" to those that are near to you and remember your animal friends, as well.

On a similar note I have checked with all of the etiquette sites on the Internet and it is considered proper to slip your animal friends a little piece of turkey under the table during this time of the year. My veterinarian friends also are in agreement that this is not harmful.

That's it for now. More soon.

Stray Tuned ! 

Rest In Peace, Zoey

My pal Zoey has crossed the rainbow bridge to play with Gabi Lin and Luke the Wonder Dog. My condolences to Julie and Rick. Rest in peace, Zoey.

Possum

Happy Saint Valentine's Day !

Happy Thanksgiving !

Happy Thanksgiving to all my pals and readers.

Stray Tuned!

Happy Mother's Day From Possum S. Hemmingway !

Happy Mother's Day to all my pals and to all of the loving, caring mothers. I especially want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to my Mom in Kitty Heaven. If Mom had not been distracted and had her head buried in a tuna can, I wouldn't be here.

That's it for now. More soon!

Stray Tuned !

Happy Easter To All My Pals And All The Little Critters

Happy Valentine's Day !

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned !

Merry Christmas !

Merry Christmas to all my friends, readers and what's-his-name.

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Krazy Kats - Ya Gotta See This !

I couldn't resist this video of two obviously juvenile cats who have decided to take the dignity out of being regal felines and reduced themselves to acting the fool. I do, however, find it funny.

Remember to turn off my music playlist on the left sidebar.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and we have many other fine qualities as well. Cats are rather delicate creatures and we are subject to a good many ailments, but none of us suffer from insomnia.

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Thanksgiving !

What's-His-Name: A Legend In His Own Mind !

I'm normally not a tattletale but sometimes ya' just need to tell somebody. You-know-who comes sauntering in around 5:30 AM this morning right in the middle of a great dream. You know, one of those really good dreams where you're just about to get lucky. I mean, here's this sexy kitten with her head buried in a tuna can, completely oblivious to me and I'm slowly closing in when......

The sound of a someone fumbling with keys at the the front door interrupts my dream version of the feline hokey-pokey and what do my wondering eyes appear? What's-his name has found his way home....all by himself.

I knew he was up to something when he left last night. As soon as I smelled his "going out cologne", I figured it would be a late night. I did my usual "I'm hungry" trick and stood beside my food dish because I really never know if he'll make it back. Hey, you never know! Besides, if he gets lucky, that means that I don't get fresh food until the next afternoon.

Okay, I was happy to see him and he came home hungry which means we eat anything we can find in the refrigerator that hasn't changed colors. Man, oh man, we ate ham and cheese, fried chicken that he heated up in the microwave...all kinds of goodies!

Then, after a short time on the computer, proudly announcing he found his way home, he takes his normal pilot's seat at the helm of the recliner. I, in turn, take the copilot's position and click!.....we're laid back and ready for some television. I take a brief moment to lick my paw and when I look back, what's-his-name is in la-la land. What a wuss!

So, here we are! Every light in the house is on (as the dawn lights the windows), the TV is on CNN (yuck!) and you-know-who is in a coma. Nothing else for me to do, so I climb up on his chest and catch some zzz's myself.

I wake up later that morning and, being the faithful friend that I am, I smell what's-his-name's breath to see if he is still alive. Okay, he's breathing....so far, so good, but I'm hungry! So, I lick his face a little to wake him and what does he do? He starts yelling, calling me names and tells me I've got bad breath!

I've got bad breath? Bro, I can't begin to tell you the aroma that is coming from your mouth! Besides that, you're lucky that I brought you back to life! Okay, Okay! You weren't dying but how was I to know? Anyway, things are okay now and he's back to his grumpy old self. Life is good!

My Pictures Well, it's been a while since I've posted but last night's escapades had to be heard from my point of view.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: The Wisconsin State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears this summer. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

People should be able to recognize the presence of bears in an area by their droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berry residue and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

A man was so lonely that he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink.

So, he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?" But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my shoes on!"

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

The little girl, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't think my pet python weally gives a thit."

That's it for now. More Soon!

Stray Tuned!

Happy Halloween !

It's been a while since I've posted because what's-his-name is a computer hog, but since it's Halloween, I felt it was necessary to add a a feline touch to the occasion.

My Pictures Halloween, what else? My kitten girl friend texted me some sexy pictures, but he won't allow me to post them. Personally, I see nothing wrong of showing you pictures of her cute tail.

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: Farmer Johnson goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there." Farmer Johnson comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Farmer Johnson says, "The horse blew first."

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog. They come to a busy intersection and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of the traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.

The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on other side of the street and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!" The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick him in the ass."

A guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs it into his mouth and swallows it. Bartender freaks and starts yelling about how much cue balls cost , etc. The guy tries to calm him down and tells him the monkey will pass it in the next day or so and he'll wash it off real well and bring it back. Sure enough the guy and the monkey come back into the bar and gave the bartender his cue ball back.

Meanwhile the monkey reaches into the peanut bowl, grabs a nut, sticks it in his ass, then eats it. The bartender stares at the monkey who continues to repeat this action again and again. So he asks the guy, "what's up with that?" The guys says, "What?" The bartender says, "your monkey keeps grabbing peanuts one at a time and sticking them in his ass then eating them." The guy says, "Oh, that. Well, ever since the pool ball incident, he measures everything before he eats it."

That's it for now. Happy Halloween and more Soon!

Stray Tuned!