Friday, May 1, 2009

If You Think The Swine Flu Was Mysterious, Wait "Til You See My Discovery !

I'm kinda happy they changed the name of the swine flu to H1N1. I'm not that friendly with oinkers, but I thought they were getting a bad rap. The main reason I'm happy is that when this diseases started appearing in Mexico, every Juan and his Tio start massacring the chubby little guys and that makes me nervous.

When the Avian Flu was rampant, every Mao in tao-n started killing chickens and ducks. Hell, they even banned the serving of cheese and quackers. Chinese restaurants refused to serve cream of asparakeet soup. It got to a point that every birdbrain in government was in a fowl mood.

What if some nitwit happened to catch a cold because that certain someone stayed out parting all night long? And what if that certain woke up the next morning and decided that he had the Cat Flu? Can you see where I'm headed?

Although I'm glad they changed the name, now I'm wondering if R2D2 can contract H1N1.....

So, If the Swine Flu, I mean H1N1 doesn't float your boat, here's another mysterious item happening in our southestern border towns:

Calexico,California: (April 30) - The hottest thing on the griddle at the Las Palmas restaurant these days isn't the food — it's the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that a cook says she saw on the griddle. Restaurant manager Brenda Martinez says more than 100 people have flocked to the small town of Calexico on the California-Mexico border to gaze at the likeness of the Virgin Mary since it was discovered as the griddle was being cleaned.

At first I though it was a hoax, but after thinking about it, I must confe$$ it surely must be true! Lo and behold, when I went into the kitchen to snack on my Meow Mix, I saw an image of Our Lady of Bank of America in my cat food, fell to my knees...um, front paws and rejoiced.

As a result, I've decided to share this miracle and you can have a piece of my Miracle Meow Mix for the paltry sum of $1.00 per piece. Send your dollar along with a small shipping and handling charge of $23.00 and you too can witness this miracle. But wait, order now in your comments and I'll double your order for the same price. Mail your order now and you can thank me later (sorry, no CODs).

Pets Of The Week: My pal Martha has a some real cute kittens named Nuggett (left) and Queen Bella (above). Looking at their pictures, my first impressions are that Nugget is a real pistol and the appropriately named Queen Bella is going to be the proverbial Belle of the ball.

Martha also has a kitten named Pinky Chewbacca Extra Long Psycho Cat. I'm not real sure how long someone has to sit up at night to come up with a monicker like this, but thankfully, its nickname is Choochie. I've learned that it matters not what your real name is, pet owners always come up with a nickname.

Anyway, Choochie's the white little guy on the right who has discovered that someone in Martha's house drinks Budweiser and the cardboard box makes a great place to hang out.

You should definitely stop by and vist Martha at her journal aptly named Menagerie. She always has delightful pictures of all kinds of things and I'm sure you'll enjoy you visit. If you like photography as I do, you can read Menagerie by clicking this link. http://meandering-martha.blogspot.com/

The Cat's Meow And Puppy Dog Tales:

Frank was excited about his new rifle, and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was my cousin, and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have sex." After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge for his humiliation. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time, a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, Frank. That was my nephew and you have got two choices. Either I maul you to death, or we have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate.

Although he survived, it did take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods and he managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said, "Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replied, "Well son, when we trek across the desert, our toes will help us stay on top of the soft sand."

Two minutes later the young camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these long eyelashes?" The mother said, "They are there to keep the sand out of our eyes on the trips through the desert."

After a while, the baby camels asked, "Mom, why have we got these great big humps on our back?" His Mom answered, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert so we can go without drinking for long periods of time."

The baby camel thought a bit and said, "So we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes, and these humps to store water." The mother camel said, "Yes dear."

The baby camel said, "So why are we living in the San Diego Zoo?"

That's Possum's Journal for this week. Have a great weekend and more next week.

Stray Tuned !

9 comments:

Linda's World said...

Dear PSH, I just love your sweet face. You've got a beauty mark just like ELizabeth Taylor. I'm going to keep calling it the Swine Flu because I'll never remember H1N1. Here where I live they are closing schools like crazy because there's a whole herd of sick kids around the state. I wish you were closer, I'd bring you outside with me & you could lay on the grass & watch me weed the flower bed. I hope you don't get too scared while what's his name is out at Area 51 tonight. Hugs to you, Linda in Washington

Paula said...

I think you are on to something Possum. You're one smart cat.

Julie said...

Well, I think I saw what looked like a piggy face in my Chex the other day. Prediction of the swine flu for sure. For just one trillion, that's not much, just ask our President, I will sell it to you.

don't worry about cat scratch fever, I heard if they dunk a cat 4 times in the toilet each day they won't catch it. Poor Ebony, my MIL's cat. Cleanest bald cat in town.

Martha said...

Awwww, thanks for spotlighting my babies this week! I was so excited to see them over here on your pets of the week feature! Possum, you are so cool and so is you pet Jimmy :-)

madcobug said...

I think I had better check out the picture on my dog food sack. Might make a few bucks on it. I will just keep saying the swine flu. thank you very much.. Helen

garnett109 said...

Possum i'll send you the money but please don't let a hooker kick the hell out of you!

Tabby said...

Meow, meow meow meow. You understand what I said right possum?

Rose said...

Possum seems to have the same sense of humor as his/her owner!LOL

Enjoy the Derby today!

Hugs,Rose

Pamela said...

Possum is quite a character! Enjoyed the pics of his friends. Very cute!