Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I Had A (Day) Dream

I had a daydream today that in a special National Referendum, the following decisions were approved by United States citizens:

1) The office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of November 1, 2008. The current presidential candidates will also be outsourced to India. The moves will save the President's $500,000 yearly salary which will be used to reduce the national debt. Mr. Bush, Mr. Obama and Mr. McCain will be notified by e-mail of this termination. Preparations for the job move will be started immediately.

2) Gurvinder Singh of AOL India will assume the office of President as of January 1, 2008. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

3) Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. This is inspite of his handling of the AOL Journal Community. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the 7-11," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

4) A Congressional spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh was not fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President. This should not be a problem, as President Bush, Barack Obama and John McCain are not familiar with the issues either.

5) Plans will be made for outsourcing the Senate and the House of Representatives. This will seriously affect staffing efficiency at AOL India. The saving of hundreds of millions of dollars now spent annually on campaign financing will be used to reduce the national deficit.

6) Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush, Barack Obama and John McCain have used them successfully for years."

7) Bush, Obama and McCain will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until their final days of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, they will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. They may have difficulties in securing a new positions due to limited practical or successful work experience. Greeter positions at Wal-Mart were suggested due to their extensive experience shaking hands, as well as their special smiles.

8) Congressional positions will revert to entry level postal workers or on-call street activists. If nothing else, they may be offered jobs as reporters or TV commentators.

After listening to Beavis and Butthead last night, I thought this would be a much better plan, but that's just me.

Stray Tuned !


garnett109 said...

Sounds good to me!

Indigo said...

We are truly in trouble when the actual Beevis and Butthead make more sense than the current candidates...(hugs)Indigo

Sandra said...

Sounds about right to me too.LOL

Rose said...

Please note my blogger address is now:

I had to change it in order for the migration to apply.

Hugs, Rose

Julia said...

What is scary is this sounds like a much better plan then what is actually going to happen, LOL. Love cat humor.

Tressa Bailey said...

Hey I like it....lets do it!